I Stand Alone
by Black Lothlorien
Summary: A songfic about Zechs. Really sad. I Stand Alone is by Brian White and is on the "Quest For Camelot" Soundtrack


_You are not to roam in this forgotten place_

_Just the likes of me are welcome here_

Wind leaned over his desk, fingering the Preventers jacket that was lying across the scattered reports. So much had happened in the past few days…his head was still spinning and his mind was still muddled.

All he had seen…all the pain…all the bloodshed…it would all be softer, less sorrowful soon.

He had gone insane.

That was all that could be said. His mind had finally broken, and his ideals, his beliefs, everything…they had all been thrown out the window in his fit of crazed lunacy. But now…Noin had brought him back.

It was only her love that had brought him back from that far edge of agony and madness. But now…he faced something that no one could help him with.

Again, he had a new name, a new uniform, but his ideals, his morals…they were solidly in line with his sister's teaching. No longer would he kill to prove a point. Battles were fought to preserve the lives of the many, not to kill those that opposed, the few.

Was he Zechs?

Was he Milliardo?

Noin loved Zechs, for he was all she knew. Relena loved Milliardo because they were blood kin, no more. Trieze respected him because he was a great pilot and warrior, honorable and chivalrous.

But all those men were dead.

Who was he now?

_Everything breathes_

_And I know each breath_

_It's more than enough for this man_

Here was where he belonged…

Wind sat in the cargo hold of the shuttle that carried he and Noin to their assigned colony. His fingers danced over the familiar controls of the Tallgeese III, though he did not power the suit up.

It felt alive, even when powered-down. He could feel the spirits of the men who had trusted him, given their lives for him, all embodied in this mobile suit. His father was there with him, peaceful and kind, Otto, loyal and selfless to the end…

Trieze…

He was there as well. His spirit remained, stronger than his presence alive. He felt almost tangible, the only true, dedicated friend that he had ever had…

Wind rested his head in his hands and cried softly.

The man who had been like a brother to him was dead, his father was dead, his loyal friend was dead…

Who then was left?

"Zechs?" Noin leaned into the cockpit and asked softly, "What are you doing here? It's your rest time."

He could not bring himself to staunch the tears, no matter how hard he tried. When she saw his quietly shaking frame, she reached out to touch his shoulder.

"Please…Noin…I need to be alone right now…"

She nodded and withdrew, smiling slightly, "I understand. I'll be in the cockpit if you need me."

_Like every tree stands on its own_

_Reaching for the sky I stand alone_

_I share my world _

_With no one else_

_All by myself I stand alone_

Debris littered the streets of the colony, and explosions still rocked the buildings. In Tallgeese, Wind surveyed the wreckage, trying to ascertain if the threat had truly diminished, or if there were still saboteurs around…

He saw a shape move quickly. A man was climbing the leg of his suit!

"Zechs! I'm reading explosives in that man's pack! Enough to blow this entire block to kingdom come!" Noin cried over the vidphone, "Get out of there! "

His hand swept down and caught the man around the waist. He raised him up to see who it really was, but the man heaved his backpack at the suit's face. Instinctively, Wind brought his hand up to shield himself inside the cockpit as the entire world shattered.

_Deep in the darkness my heart still sees_

_Everything that I'll never be_

_Behind these eyes I'll go everywhere_

_There's no need for sympathy_

_Everything breathes and I know each breath_

_In my world there's no compromise_

Wind tried to raise himself up. Metal shield was collapsed over him, pinning him to the concrete ground. He could barely move, and his head ached. He tried to crawl out of the debris, but he could not move his legs. They were pinned under a beam of metal.

"Zechs!"

The cry came from somewhere above, outside the wreckage. It was not Noin.

"Zechs, are you in there?"

He groaned in response, unable to raise his head.

A hand reached into the pile and brushed his face. The arm withdrew and more rubble was pulled away, opening a way to daylight. The arm reached in again and rested on Wind's shoulder.

"Just hold on, Zechs, my friend," The familiar voice said in a calm, evenly-measured voice, "We will have you out in no time at all."

"Are you…" Wind whispered, then sagged back to the ground, "Can you be…"

"Yes, Zechs," Trieze patted him on the shoulder. Somehow Wind summoned the strength to grasp his friend's wrist. No white glove, no uniform…just a dark blue sport coat with a white button-up…

"I'm sorry, Trieze…God, I am so sorry…" He strength faded and he was able to utter one last painful groan before he slipped into unconsciousness, "Thank you…thank you so much…"

_Like every tree stands on its own_

_Oh reaching for the sky I stand alone_

_I share my world with no one else_

_All by myself...___

"Can you hear me? Zechs? Please wake up, please?"

Noin was leaning over him, her hands holding his. She was scared, like he had never seen her before, even after the original Tallgeese incident. And she was frightened for _him._

"Lieutenant—er, Noin, you must leave him to rest," A doctor in a white lab coat took her shoulders, "He probably will not wake up for a long time…if at all. His injuries were severe, more so than anything ever before on his medical record."

"But that machine beeped," She snapped, "You said that once that monitor beeped, he was waking up."

"Where…" Zech's eyes were half-shut, his mouth barely open, almost unable to form the tiniest of words, "Trieze…"

"He's awake! Oh, thank God, he's awake!" Noin raised her hand to his forehead, "What did you say, Zechs? What did you say?"

"He was…" His lips were so stiff… "There…"

"He was there? Who was?" She brushed his bangs out of his face.

"Trieze…"

Noin exchanged a look with the doctor, then turned back to him, "Zechs, Trieze is dead, buried, back on Earth. You're on Colony—"

"I know I saw him…" He whispered. His eyes drifted closed, but he forced them open again, "Noin…Lucrezia…"

"Go ahead, Zechs, I'm still here," He caressed his burnt cheek lovingly, carefully.

"I may go places…where you can't…" He coughed a short choke, then gasped, trying to get his breath back, "You will go places…that I can't…"

"What are you saying?"

"Take my heart with you, Lucrezia," He said, and that one sentence drained the strength from his entire body, "Where you go, take my soul, my spirit…Trieze trusted me to…and I did…take us both with you…"

His breathing became labored, painful. Worriedly, Noin looked up at the doctor, who just shook his head, "Zechs, please, just keep your strength. You need it to heal."

He nodded painfully. Then his eyes fell back and he sank into a black, dreamless sleep.

_Still_

_I will remember_

_Still_

_I'll run with you, yes_

_And when it's time for you to go_

_Take me in your heart_

A few months later, Wind was standing in front of a grave, his crutches holding him up. He looked down at the flowers that he had just placed near the stone that held his best friend's epitaph.

"I know you were there," He said simply, "I don't know how, or why, you saved my life, but you did, Trieze, somehow you did. I only wish that I could have done the same for you, now, after everything is over…"

The grave seemed so simple, so quiet…it was the way he would have wanted it…

Wind wiped tears from his eyes, "Forgive me for betraying you. Forgive me for failing you. Forgive me…"

He paused and looked down at his off-duty clothing. He straightened up and let the crutches fall to the grass. With a crisp, solid movement, he saluted stiffly, as if acknowledging the presence of a great warrior.

"Forgive me for taking this long to figure out how much our friendship really meant," He relaxed and carefully picked up his crutches, "How much it means. Because I feel you now, here, at my side."

He wiped a glistening tear away, "You're my guardian angel now, Trieze, and I know you're watching. I'll do what you've always wanted me to do. I will become a true warrior, like you…"

"But this time, I'll do it differently."

Wind had no idea that Noin was watching from the bushes, making sure he was all right.

"I'll stand alone and I won't drag others to their dooms like I did before," He shook his head, "I killed those closest to me. They deserved to live…you deserve to live…more than I. I will stand for what is right, alone, if need be."

Another tear…

"Thank you…"

_Like every tree_

_Stands on its own_

_Oh reaching for the sky I stand alone_

_I share my world with no one else_

_All by myself_

_I stand alone_

_All by myself... all by myself_

_I stand alone_


End file.
